Aha! The festive period is finally over. Hangovers are back in balance for weekends only and we’re all left contemplating the reality of those New Years Resolutions…
At least we have Ebay to transport those god-awful Christmas pressies off to new homes. Why do we all do it, I mean c’mon if you think about it those presents were just so predictable? Well, let’s be blantantly frank we live hectic lifestyles; working, exercising… hmm, I know… but you just have to do it to stay fit and healthy and live longer, that’s what our caring sharing government tells us anyhow!!! Then there’s socialising whereby we most definitely over-indulge followed by spending time with the family and then the cycle begins again… Presents lovingly picked and wrapped with enthusiasm are a thing of the past, its grab a bargain, drop it into an overpriced gift-bag so it looks the part and hey presto, fait accompli!.
I love Christmas lights! Sadly though even that’s turned into a competition with neighbors who are apparently ‘friends’ spitting lava every time they spot a new exhibit next door. Then there’s those poor soul’s left feeling the squeeze financially, which if we are totally honest is a very large percentage of us. Not only is there the worry that with the addition of luscious lights and flashing snowmen, the electric bill will become so large that a courier has to deliver it, but for some the ‘Christmas Spirit’ was left in the shops that they could only admire from afar and most definitely not afford.
For those of us with a steady income and not too many debtors chasing us, it was exhausting but at least we could leave out our ritual exercise. Miles of trudging around department stores, with their various levels, laden down with festive delights more than made up for it. Then just when you think you can relax; feet up, glass of wine in hand before a roaring fire with pressies wrapped and delivered by Santa of course… It all begins again; the ‘Sales’ I mean! Well who amongst us can resist a bargain? My way of thinking is that after all that hustle and bustle, panic attacks plus hangovers its a great way of letting go all that pent-up stress, because you can guarantee you will have a raving barney with someone before the ‘Sales’ end. Pompous parking attendants… ‘so what if two wheels of my car are parked rather obviously on a curb, its bound to be the fault of the driver the other side for over-parking’,or ‘come on, its Christmas and there are bargains out there that belong to me!’, I’ve tried them all and be warned those Parking Attendants are the new ‘mafia’, they may not take a limb but they most definitely will take a wheel or a car! And if you’re lucky enough to find a parking space and one that’s big enough to manoeuvre into, then you are thrown into a battle of skills with other like minded shoppers! The skill being your major and very refined way of drawing their attention from that much wanted bargain whilst you sneakily but gloatingly march off with it… You can always pat yourself on the back for having saved them some money!
We all start out full of the the seasons goodwill, visiting relatives or in-laws with gifts and false air-kisses; determined that this years gatherings wont disrupt into unarmed warfare and to be fair the men and children do this rather splendidly. Playstations, Xboxes and new gadgets tend to bond them instantly. The women on the other hand sat facing that in-law with a face like a well chiseled goblin (and I don’t necessarily mean the mother-in-law) begin to knock back that wine a little too needingly and before you know it out of nowhere looks become daggers, voices become raised and the hate starts a’bubbling. And no there is no pun intended linking women to witches and bubbling to cauldrons…but if the cap fits….
Oh and I must not forget the Christmas party or night out whereby at some stage we all; men and women included do something that will haunt us at least until the next Christmas’s misdemeanor. Be it throwing up over the boss’s wife’s Jimmy choo’s, worse snogging the boss when all they were trying to do was whisper that little warning – ‘don’t you think you’ve drank enough!’ or god forgive and I sooh hope this one is not just restricted to me, but at the end of a fun and thankfully embarrassment free night, lead all and sundry to have the time of their lives at the local children’s playground. I can vouch for it there is nothing like the wind in your hair as your swing creakingly reaches heights inadvisable for any adult. Unfortunately there is always one person who will go that little bit further and require medical attention after free-falling from the new-fangled and ridiculously high (for a child) climbing frame. Which reminds me does anyone know the answer to… how come children can fall, brush themselves off and carry on? Whilst my sister-in-law spent the rest of Christmas in hospital, gathering sympathy and perfecting her goblin scowl whilst nursing a variety of injuries!!! (I didn’t push her, honest…) ;-))))